Four Green Squares

the tiny little blog no-one will ever read

An open letter to my cat October 25, 2012

Filed under: the way it is — FourGreenSquares @ 10:51 am

Dear Lucius,

I appreciate you are trying to fill the hole left in our little family after your brother disappeared, but seriously, continuing his project to decimate the back garden’s bird population is a step too far.

In addition, I know you know I don’t like it. Why else would you start hiding the fruits of your labour better? The clothes hamper is not an acceptable receptacle for corpses!

While we’re having this little talk, I’d also like to add that neither is behind the bookcase in the dining room, or under the stepstool in the kitchen…see the trend here? House might rhyme with mouse, but that doesn’t mean they are a natural pairing. Au contraire, mon petit chat, au contraire.

Shape up or no more individual packets of Whiskas finest selections in gravy for you. Tinned Felix seafood sludge all the way–you have been warned!!