Four Green Squares

the tiny little blog no-one will ever read

Soap Pumps and Civilization March 17, 2012

Filed under: late night thoughts — FourGreenSquares @ 8:22 pm

I have seen the end of civilization. I know, I know,  we all have these days. But I promise, my end of civilization isn’t your end of civilization. My end of civilization is…battery powered hands-free soap pumps.

Not because there is anything wrong, per se, with battery powered hands-free soap pumps. Au contraire, they are the logical next step in product development, straight out of the marketing manual: create a need, fill it, then create a new need based on the previous need and fill that, ad infinitum.

But… but…

C’mon, are there really no needs, even imaginary ones, left to fill that do not ooze such clear disdain towards potential customers’ critical reasoning faculties?

Because…because…

Is the thought process really likely to resemble:  ‘Oh, my hands are crusted with filth and germs. I’d better go wash them. Oh no, my soap pump, lord knows where that’s been. Can’t touch that.’

Maybe they’re trying to say that their soap can clean hands of everything but the super germs that their plastic containers can incubate. In which case, they are really in the wrong business and should be making bio weapons that resemble soap hand pumps.  On second thought, maybe they already are…

Sadly, this is the type of thing that keeps me awake at night, pondering the collapse of civilization around our ears. Our clean ears, at least.  So long as we don’t touch the soap pumps, that is.

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